I seem to be hitting my stride, settling into a groove now.  I’ve worked out for the last 3 days in a row and am feeling it.  My calves are killing me.  I am tired to the core.  And I LOVE IT.  I love this feeling that I’m pushing myself and leaving it all at the gym.  I have no regrets at the end of the day, nothing to beat myself up about.  I am eating what I should be eating.  I am burning more calories than I am taking in.

My running is getting faster.   I am getting smaller.  This is so cool.

I’m trying to figure out why it’s different this time.  Why is it working for me this time?   Right now, I would say it’s because I decided.  I decided this time was for real.  I am 100% committed.  I bought this domain name, and try to post almost every day, which is my way of being held accountable (even if it is a bit anonymous because I haven’t told anyone about this site…)

Every day I am holding my focus and making a good decision every time I’m faced with a choice.   I think it was Jillian Michaels who said that you have to look at every choice you’re faced with and decide if it will bring you close or further from your goal.   It’s like the Hot or Cold game.

Question:  Am I getting hotter or colder if I eat the birthday cake at work.
Answer:  Colder.  So I don’t eat it.

Question:  Am I getting hotter or colder if I push myself a bit harder at the gym.
Answer:  Hotter.  So I push myself.

Right now, I am so close.  I am 117 days away from turning 40.    117 days that I need to stay focused.  Basically 4 months of making good decisions and pushing myself.   4 months is nothing.   I just did a month and honestly, it wasn’t that hard.  If I only have to do another 4 months of the same to reach my goal, I say Bring It.  I am going to be thin this year.  THIN.  Holy crap.  I am really starting to believe that it’s real, that it is all in my control.   There are no outside forces that made me fat.  There are no forces keeping me fat.  It is a decision.  And I have decided to be Thin.